Here in the South, we’re pretty fond of our “You Might Be a [insert noun] If” lists. So here’s a non-exhaustive list for exhausted mamas in the midst of a crazy season of child rearing and career building.
You might be a working mom if…
- Using hand sanitizer has become one of the primary tenets of your religion.
- You’ve ever experienced the wave of panic that comes with seeing your daycare’s number pop up on your phone.
- “Me time” is often just the part of your commute between work and daycare.
- Half of your wardrobe is dry clean only, and the other half is yoga pants and faded t-shirts.
- You’ve bribed yourself to get out of bed with promises of Starbucks coffee or a long lunch out.
- You’ve ever noticed a spit-up stain on your clothes right before an important meeting.
- Your idea of a shopping spree involves a few mouse clicks and 2-day delivery to your doorstep.
- The Hanukkah story about the oil supply that doesn’t run out is not that impressive to you, because you’ve got your very own Hanukkah miracle happening right in your laundry room – a pile of clothes defying all logic by perpetually growing instead of shrinking, despite the copious number of loads you start each week.
- Your favorite recipes all include the name “Easy” in the title and preferably include the word “crockpot” in the instructions.
- Your most common forms of exercise are child-lifting (hey, getting 35 pounds of wiggly, bouncing enthusiasm into a car seat is not easy!) and taking the stairs to your office.
- You don’t mind having people over to your house sometimes because that’s the only way you’ll find the motivation to actually clean.
- You’ve watched YouTube videos of children’s songs because your kid came home singing something unfamiliar and you feel like you need to know the words/tune/hand motions.
- A spontaneous romantic dinner date involves eating at 4:00 p.m. so you can pick up your kid before the 6:00 deadline.
- You’ve ever felt frustrated at a business/office/government agency/bank for only being open from 9-5. Seriously, what working mom has time to take off work to go to the bank or renew her driver’s license?
- You’ve called into a conference call or otherwise conducted business on the phone with a wailing child in the background.
- You’ve ever worried your HR department may call you in to discuss some of your more questionable or disgusting Internet searches, such as those pertaining to snot color, poop consistency, and strange rashes.
- You look and feel a bit like a pack mule heading out the door for work in the morning, thanks to being loaded down with your purse, laptop bag, diaper bag, and breast pump. Oh yeah, and the baby, too.
What have I missed? Any other telltale signs that someone is a working mom?