The Fear of Change that Comes with a New Job

The Fear of Change

I recently accepted an offer for a new job that starts in June and I’m so excited! But with that excitement comes plenty of fear. I’m leaving behind a job that I can honestly say I thoroughly enjoyed 90% of the time. The company took excellent care of me and offered a lot of perks. I had a flexible schedule, a generous amount of paid sick/vacation time, the ability and freedom to work from home via a company-issued laptop (convenient when your kid has pink eye, can’t go to school and isn’t sick enough for constant care), as well as relationships with some pretty hilarious and free-spirited co-workers. I can honestly say that I worked for a department that played as hard as they worked. I learned a lot there and grew tremendously as a writer.

The job I am moving on to is pretty much a second version of a dream job. I’ve shared before how I deeply desire to open a preschool for my church, but with that being at least 7-10 years on the horizon, I had to make a decision. Was I fulfilled enough in my current job to make it that long without feeling like I was cheating myself, or was there something else out there for me? I love working. I really do. I love having something to call my own and providing financially for my family. It’s just how I am wired. However, if I’m going to do it, I want it to be something I am passionate about. This job change gives me an opportunity to really come into my own and to do something that I am very excited about.

But… it’s new. And while it does come with its own set of perks, it’s just different and that’s scary. While going through the interview process, I set the precedent that I need to leave downtown by 4:30 in order to ensure I’m always on time for daycare pick-up. I live about 30 miles north of downtown, which puts me to daycare at 5:15 if there isn’t much traffic. One car accident and I could be pushing 6:00 and that $1/minute late fee (ouch). Thankfully, they were pretty understanding and said that’s totally fine. But will that uphold? Will it always be understood that I am pretty unavailable after 4:30 or 4:45?

Will my co-workers like me? Will I live up to the expectation they have for me? Am I just good at selling myself in an interview (in this case 6 for one job) yet will fail at the task? What if my child goes through a bout of constant sickness again – will they be understanding? What if I get pregnant before I’ve been there a year (God willing, infertility makes that pretty unlikely), will they keep my job for me since I technically don’t fall under FMLA in that case? At my old job, I spent two years banking vacation days so I’d have more than the standard 6 weeks available (paid) for maternity leave. I’m able to cash that out when I leave, but still…

Entering into a new job is so exciting, but there is also a lot of fear that goes along with it. I gave my employer a one-month notice, which they were extremely grateful for, but I have a feeling it’s going to make this fear build up inside even more as I prolong the inevitable.

Have you changed jobs recently? How did you keep yourself sane during the transition period?

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