First Vacation Without My Child and I’m Freaking Out

Leaving Child For The First TimeIn May, my husband and I are flying out of state together to attend my cousin’s wedding. For the first time ever, we’re both leaving our 4-year-old daughter at home for 4 nights and 5 days. She’s staying with my husband’s sister and will be in excellent hands, but can I make a confession?

I am freaking out!!!

When she had just turned 2, I had to go out of town twice within one month without her to visit my grandmother in hospice and then again for the funeral, but she had her daddy home with her both times. When she was 18 months old, my husband had to travel for work for a month and was only home on weekends. Again, she at least had me there to tuck her in every night.

We’ve never both left her.

It was hard enough getting used to the idea of childcare when she was an infant, but eventually that grew on me. She now loves preschool and goes every morning with a smile on her face, leaving me with a huge hug and “I love you mommy, see you later!”

I thought maybe the first time I left her overnight would be just one night with a grandparent, not half a week.

Deep down inside, I have this war going on. Excitement for my husband and I to fly out together when we haven’t flown together since our honeymoon… and yet this horrible fear that my daughter won’t understand why we’re not home with her and will miss us terribly. Obviously, we plan to talk to her on the phone every single day and there is this awesome technology called FaceTime (THANK YOU GOD), but still.

It’ll probably be easier on her than it is on me. She’ll be with an aunt who loves her dearly and will spoil her with fun activities and lots of cuddles. But…

What if she wakes up in the middle of the night crying for her mommy?

What if she has a bad dream?

What if she gets sick?

What if our plane goes down and then she’s left with no parents?!

Am I being irrational?

Her aunt is fully capable of taking care of all of these things (minus the obvious)—don’t get me wrong. Honestly, my daughter may not even ask for me that much, she’ll be too busy having fun at school during the day and with family members at night. But I’m sad. I’m sad and freaking out. I’m sure it’ll be easier when the day to fly out actually comes. I’ll realize that I need to relax and live a little.

Maybe not.

Moms, how did you deal with the first time you left your child overnight? Do you have any tips for a crazy irrational mom who is losing her mind over this?


  • From a mom of a less than 1 year old, who has left her baby for at least 4 nights before, YOU CAN DO IT!! No, it’s not crazy or irrational that you are having these feelings. It’s natural! I will say that I’ve noticed that if my husband and I are going away together…away from our house..away from the people who only know us with a baby it’s A LOT easier! When we stay home and go to church without her and have people ask us about her at least every 5 seconds it’s much harder. Yes, you’ll be going to the wedding where people will you ask you, but hopefully not the whole time you’re gone.

    I find it to be VERY important to spend that time with your spouse. It helps keep your romance alive and you will be able to focus on each other during those 5 days. Marriage is a beautiful thing and I think people overlook the fact that you have to work at a marriage, especially after having children. Spending this quality time with each other will be fantastic for your relationship! And who knows you might just love it!! And if you do that’s OK!!

    Good luck and keep us updated on how it goes!!


  • Adrienne says:

    We recently returned from our first real parent getaway and you will really be fine! I had all of the same feelings and a lot of guilt. We went to New Orleans for 4 nights / 5 full days away from our 3 and 6 year old. They had a blast with their grandparents and my husband and I felt like we had a second honeymoon! Enjoy your time away!
    Adrienne recently posted..Visiting the National WWII Museum in New OrleansMy Profile
    Twitter: WandWorkMom

  • Monica says:

    My husband and I are going out of the country for 7 nights without our son and I’m FREAKING OUT!! I’m glad to read that I’m not the only one with these exact fears and then some. My husband travels for work all the time and he is so excited about this trip that it’s annoying the crap out of me. How can he not have these same fears or irrational thoughts?!

    I know this blog is old, but Please tell me everything went great.

    • Jessi says:

      Hey there! Everything was perfectly fine. :) I think it helped that she was able to sleep in her own bed every night. Plus, she adores her aunt so they really had a lot of fun. We did FaceTime twice a day, morning and night, so I think that helped all of us as well. Now that we survived it once, I think I can handle it again, although I will admit, I’m not looking for that opportunity any time soon!
      Jessi recently posted..Disney World: 6 Months AwayMy Profile

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