The Grass is Always Greener. And Browner.

The Grass is Always GreenerI have to admit, I always get the same awestruck response when I tell people I make money blogging. They can’t seem to wrap their head around how that happens, and then of course I hear about their blog or their cousin’s blog and get the question of how they can do that too.

My job is pretty amazing. I write for several sites, I’m paid well, I get fun perks like being sent on a Disney cruise with Bella. Heck, even the conferences I go to are like mini vacations with my girlfriends. I am blessed to have what I do, and I’ve worked really hard to make this happen. It took 2 1/2 years of solid, consistent blogging and forking out my own money time and time again to start to see any return.

So yes, I work from home. I have very flexible hours. I get to do what I love.

There is always the other side to any situation – whether it’s a marriage or motherhood or job – nothing is 100% perfection and happiness all the time. Working from home means I have to get things done with my own motivation.

It also means that right now, I’m looking at a stack of envelopes that will tell me all that fun money I earned is now time to be paid back in taxes. As an independent contractor, I’m responsible for all my own stuff. This is the first year that’s happened and I’m a bit nervous about it all.

Blogging means I have to come up with my own material all the time. While some of my sites are specific as to a topic (pregnancy, working moms, military) it can get hard to wrack your brains week after week trying to figure out what is interesting enough for someone to want to read. In between all that writing is balancing my time for my own little blog that started me on this journey.

I also need childcare to work. I’ve found the past 3 weeks with my sitter moved home and my husband gone that the time I have to work simply isn’t enough. I can’t do it and get enough uninterrupted time to finish anything. I’m thankful I was able to find a new sitter yesterday to come in from now on, but now I have a massive amount of catch up to do.

There are days I long for a little office job to dress up and go to. A place child free where I pee in silence and the dog isn’t chewing on a tissue under my foot as I type out work. Where I can have adult conversations and a fancy lunch now and then. But then I think of how if I had that, I’d miss this so much. Being able to stop what I’m doing to wipe a nose, to see a little red, sweaty face come out from a nap. I love having a sitter come so I can work in peace, I love coming home, but there are days I think, “Today would be a great sick day for me with daycare for Bella.”

When I’m told, “You are so lucky, getting paid to write and be at home!” I think, “You only know the half of it!”

And then I realize, that part really is the best half. The half that makes the brown grass on the other side totally worthwhile.

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