I’ve been blogging at Hormonal Imbalances for almost 3 years. It started as an outlet for all the extra time I had while my 2 month old napped.
It’s become so much more than that to me.
For a long time, I struggled with writing. I wasn’t sure why I wrote, where it was going, or if I could ever be OK with just writing for fun. I adored being a stay at home mom, but there was a part of me that longed for validation beyond that, something where my creativity mattered to more than – my family. Who have faithfully read my blog since almost day 1. (Hi all!)
So this past year, I’ve gotten hired on with several freelance jobs (Babble, Oreck, Military Family) that allow me to pull in a full time income, as well as other unpaid gigs that encourage me to stretch my creativity and love of writing. All this means I work nearly full time hours.
It’s been amazing.
It’s also been incredibly validating to what I love and wanted to do for so long.
But like any part of life, it has both it’s ups and downs. Working from home enables me to homeschool my daughter, go on playdates, and have the freedom of my own schedule. For the most part. It also helps tremendously with finances, paying off debt, and little extras.
The flip side is that I rarely get uninterrupted time to work. As I type this, Bella dumped an entire container of dirt on the dog, then rammed her truck into my foot. Again. I feel pressed for time most days, and there are many afternoons I look up after nap is over to realize dinner isn’t started, still frozen, and the trip to the store we had planned will have to wait. I’ve had to skip birthday parties for last minute deadlines, late nights for work and scheduling.
As we found a routine, I also realized I needed help with all of this. I hired our (amazing) sitter who comes 3 mornings a week to be with Bella while I write at our local Starbucks. Meals are still a bit hard on me, but I’ve learned that double batches on slower days and then freezing means on a busy day, I have home cooked dinner that just needs to heat up. Cleaning? If I could justify a housekeeper, I would. But for now, I get it done in spurts of time throughout the day and week.
I have two feelings about working while Bella is awake: it’s good for her to play on her own, and it’s not something I want her to resent about me.
I work on finding a balance with this, because not working a lot while she’s up means that when she’s down at night, I work. That leaves Sam and I chatting while I’m writing. Or him zoning out to Netflix while I pump out posts. It also means naps are all work, all the time. Social media is 24-7, so in knowing that and making it work for me, I have to create my own hours while understanding that email checking from my phone is just part of my job. Not checking means an editor somewhere is waiting hours for a response on something that needed to be answered in minutes.
With all that being said, I love it. I wouldn’t trade what I get to do for anything. It’s truly a dream come true for me, even if it means life is a little on the crazy side and our dog frequently needs a bath.
This sounds like such an ideal situation and I love how you’ve made it work by allowing yourself certain things like frozen meals and mornings at Starbucks to write. Making it work, girl!
Shannon recently posted..August, September, October: Royal Fiction and American Epic
I can relate 100%. Since my kiddos are in school, I try my best not to work when they are with me and in my care — but I still have to sometimes — like when they were sick a few weeks ago. It is definitely a delicate balance that evolves and grows with time. As Bella grows you’ll find you have to tweak your work life as well.
Welcome aboard!
Jamie recently posted..Fall Reflections
As a WAHM whose child is in daycare, I have a hard time getting on board with the WAH with limited to no child care situation. While you do say that you have a sitter a few mornings a week, that only covers maybe half of your full time hours? Where do the other hours come in? I don’t think that anyone can do multiple things at once with any efficiency, so one (or more) things have to give. Either you work or you play with you child. You work or you spend time with your husband. You work or you cook dinner and clean. I’m not saying anything bad about you, because you seem to have a system that works for you. I just think it’s unrealistic to think that women can give all to their work while at the same time giving all to their family.
Twitter: jessieyeager
The others hours come in with her 2 hour naps, weekends when my husband takes her to do things, and nighttime. Yes, like I said, I work some while she’s up and while my husband is at home. But we’ve found a great routine that works, and he is supporting of what I do so makes every effort to allow me the time to do so. If this sounds unrealistic, I’m not sure what to say. It works for us, it’s how our life is. I don’t want her in daycare while I’m home – but that was simply a priority I had.
Diana Stone recently posted..On Being a WAHM
As a teacher, a bunch of my work must come home with me. There’s not enough time in the day. So for me, nap times on the weekends are used from grading and curriculum. And when my daughter is older and no longer taking naps, I will have to either shut a door while my husband is home to care for her, or go to Starbucks myself, to get work done. And you know what, I do give all to my family and my work. It can be done. I am fulfilled in both aspects. In fact, I feel that being a mother makes me a better teacher and being a teacher makes me a better mother. As working moms, whatever our careers are, wherever our work takes us, we set priorities and do the best we can. Nobody’s perfect. WAHM, SAHM, WOHM. We’re all just moms trying to do our best and being fulfilled in our personal lives as well.
Twitter: wa_tracy
I never said that someone can’t be fulfilled or give their all to both work and home; I just said you can’t give your all to work and your home at the same time. My point was merely that most WAHM’s without child care probably fill in the gap of work during the evenings and weekends, which is a loss of a part of your day that you could be doing something else or spending time with family.
I meant no offense to Diana or her work arrangement. I just feel as though a lot of people look at WAHM’s w/o child care as the “ideal” situation and don’t look at the sacrifices that are made in other aspects of life in order to make it work.
Twitter: jessieyeager
Got it. I’ve taught online summer school before and I chose not to do it this year as my daughter is older and the previous summers where a mess and I was up till 1am most nights finishing my work up. I may do it again this summer, but only because my mom is moving out here and she can be our childcare during the day. It’s really tough to find that balance and make decisions that work best for everyone. And if one day my dream of being a freelance writer to support my family where to come true, I know 100% childcare will be involved. It has to be to make it all work without the stress involved. Thanks for your comments
Twitter: wa_tracy
As you know, Diana, you’ve been such an inspiration to me. While I must work outside the home full-time (because the opportunity to write full-time has never presented itself) I still feel like managing my home/marriage/kids can sometimes be topsy turvy because I work. I think all of our working arrangements mean that we have to figure out the best way to manage it all. And you’re doing just fine
molly recently posted..Pumpkin Patch 2012
Twitter: adayinmollywood
I would love help with recipes and menus for that kind of lifestyle. I’d love to be able to write more and possibly, at some point in the future, get paid to do it (that would be nice!) but also be a stay at home mom. I made one recipe you posted on your Hormonal Imbalances blog (the pasta e fagioli), but unfortunately, my hubby has issues with tomatoes and it didn’t sit well with his stomach. My sister’s kids and husband loved it, though, which is really saying something! I’d love to see more like that if you can share, especially recipes I can make double of and freeze.
I know exactly what you mean about writing because you need more validation. That, and as a necessary outlet for my grieving process, are exactly why I write as well. But it does become difficult to balance the “at home” part… I struggle with the same balance issues. But when I have an idea I have to get it out of my head!!!
Congrats on your successes. You deserve it!
Alexa recently posted..The Bug Squad
This sounds like my life. Except that I have a newborn, I don’t work while my toddler is awake (I might if he were better at independent play) and we cannot afford a babysitter. I don’t pull full time hours, but I write and am a research consultant for a local hospital. It’s hard to feel like I am giving my best to everything and sometimes anything. It comes in waves “my writing is killing it” or “I rocked this mom thing this week.” — never together. I’d assume a work outside the home Mama feels much the same way. Shit. Even a SAHM. Raising kids is a full time job. More than full time. And its hard.
You inspire me!
I am a stay at home mom and have been blogging for a year. My goal is to gain some freelance gigs and continue to write and work in social media. It’s tough, but you give me hope!
Thanks!
Martha @ MarthaWills.com recently posted..If at First You Don’t Succeed then Maybe You’re Doing it Wrong