Society is, like, so funny isn’t it? And you know, “the public?” In everyday life, the public and society have very little to do my life…. am I right? Society/the public doesn’t wake me up, get me ready, get me to work, do my job, buy my groceries, parent my kids, or fix our meals. But boy howdy, the public/society sure has some opinions on how I do those things! [Oh yeah, and society votes and pays taxes and stuff.]
Some fairly recent statistics on the opinions of ‘the public’ published in a report by the Pew Research Center have gotten under my skin {also found here}. This report goes over a lot of different issues about the role of women, traditional values, women in the workforce and so forth – but I have quoted the stats that have just got my face in a pinch:
According to data collected by the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, 59% of women now work or are actively seeking employment. An even higher percentage of women with children ages 17 or younger (66%) work either full or part time. Among those working mothers, most (74%) work full time while 26% work part time.
{Translation: A lot of moms work, mostly full-time.}
Only 12% of the public says what’s best for a young child is that their mother works full time. Four-in-ten say the ideal situation for a young child is a mother who works part time, and 42% say what’s best is if the mother doesn’t work at all.
{Translation: Unnecessary.}
However, only 10% in 1994 and 11% in 2002 said a woman with a young child should work full time. Respondents were more accepting of full-time work for a woman whose youngest child had started school. However, even then pluralities in 1994 and 2002 said part-time work would be preferable under those circumstances.
{Translation: Fewer than 1 out of 8 Americans think it’s OK for me – a mom with two young children under the age of 5 - to be working full-time. Which means 7 out of 8 Americans think I suck.}
How does this make you feel, you ask? How do you think it makes me feel? Mad!! Like, so mad I wish I’d never seen this article [even though as a working mom, you pretty much know that there are people who think you suck simply for working never mind that they don't know anything about how you arrived at that decision or what your home life is like or anything like that]!
Where are these 7 people who think I suck? Who are they? If I look around my family, my friends, my office mates, wherever – do 88% of them think I should be working less or not at all????
I’m mad at the Pew Research Center for labeling the article “The Harried Life of the Working Mom” because there’s a lot more in the article you could have gleaned for a title. Most days I don’t feel harried or unhappy or like I’m ruining society, but the public surely seems to believe those things of me. And I’m mad because you didn’t present any information about *why* women are working {like, does working make you a happier person? Does working make you a better mother? Do you have a choice to work or not?}.
I’m mad that PRC would even put the statement out there “too many children are being raised in day care centers these days” for Joe Q. Public to respond to. Biased much? I strongly suggest you get some MOMS on your survey planning team!
In 1987, 68% of the public agreed that too many children are being raised in day care centers these days. In 2003, 72% agreed with this statement.
I’m happy the PRC did present facts that about 86% of married-with-kids moms of all ‘labels’ are happy. So why wasn’t THAT the title of your article – “Most moms happy, working or not”? Isn’t that the real headline here? In my book, it is.
Rant over.
I don’t think 7/8 of my friends and family think I suck for working full time… and I don’t think I suck. It’s unsettling to see numbers that tell me that Joe and Jill Q. Public think I suck, but is this really what they think, or was the survey poorly designed?
I think that 8/8 of my friends and family – like my kids – are happy when/if I’m happy and they’re proud of me for making it all work [most of the time!]. Do I wish I were working part-time? Sometimes but then I’d just be working to pay daycare. Do I wish I could stay home full time? Not one bit.
Stop making me explain myself, society/the public! I’m tired of the nasty glares your statistical opinions are giving me.
Read more Pew Research Center reports on Women, Work and Motherhood Here.
Studies show that 97% of data are open to dramatic swings of interpretation.
In other words, I don’t give a rat’s hind quarters if someone disapproves of my lifestyle. I am–each of us is–doing the best we can for our families and ourselves, and anyone who thinks that there is one “best” for everyone is living a very small life. And if they think what I’m doing is wrong, then how much effort are they putting into helping me?
I don’t much care what studies like these say. They’re irrelevant. 7 out of 8 people aren’t living my life.
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..Now and Then: A List
Twitter: tragicsandwich
So true…. I shouldn’t have even read the report, and maybe I shouldn’t have done my post this week about it…. but on the big picture I think this info does serve a purpose. Personally I may be offended, but I think there’s a lot of education to be done…. survey questions can be worded differently for example. Also, 7 out of 8 politicians likely don’t think moms should be working. Possibly why they’re so willing to get rid of the child tax credit, or ignore policies that make life easier for working moms. Trying to find the silver lining…. knowing may be half the battle.
Mary Beth recently posted..Yes it’s me dancing to Lady Gaga.
Twitter: bloombing
The problem is, very few people know how to write good questions. And even fewer realize that it’s hard. So while I think it’s good to know what people are thinking and saying, I think it’s also important to remember that they often don’t know what they’re talking about, and they often don’t think about what the questions themselves mean and are trying to accomplish.
Tragic Sandwich recently posted..Now and Then: A List
Twitter: tragicsandwich
Apparently I suck too. Thanks, America! At least I’m not a lesbian working mom or people would *really* hate me.
Seriously though, I agree with tragicsandwich, “7 out of 8 people aren’t living my life.” They don’t know what they are missing.
Observacious recently posted..List 14: Quick, Easy and Cheap Halloween Costumes
Twitter: observacious
Sorry – I hope I didn’t bring folks down with this post. People likely don’t hate us. Maybe data like this could be used to show that we need more viable, well-paying, meaningful part-time employment opportunities? Who knows.
Mary Beth recently posted..Yes it’s me dancing to Lady Gaga.
Twitter: bloombing
Who fills out these surveys? Now you have me fired up. Until someone takes a walk in my shoes and sees my family, I don’t think anyone should judge. You had a good vent, now I would say just blow it off.
Kerry recently posted..I’m a Sucker for Cute Holiday T’s
Twitter: breadwinningmom
It’s hard to blow it off… it’s like, once you know something you can’t unknow it. I’m sitting here trying to re-interpret it. They were asked what they thought was best for the child – mom working full-time, part-time or not at all. It’s kind of a slanted question. What if they asked what was best for the mom, or for the family, with some qualifiers about satisfaction, income and balance? I think the answers would have been different.
Mary Beth recently posted..Yes it’s me dancing to Lady Gaga.
Twitter: bloombing
While it not other people’s jobs to judge my life and choices, if they are so vehemently against mothers being away from the kids so much, then why aren’t the survey-responders who are in management/positions of authority offering mothers more flexible work schedules?!? I enjoy my career, but I asked for part time so I could be the best of myself both as a mother and an employee. I was rejected. Interestingly, my chain of command includes mothers with kids. I wonder if there is a subconscious “I had to do it, so can you” thought current behind it.
Exactly. If that’s what 88% of people believe, then why is part-time work for moms so difficult to come by [that actually pays decent and is fulfilling]? The stat doesn’t jive with other stats in the article like:
-A solid majority of Americans (75%) reject the idea that women should return to their traditional roles in society, and most believe that both husband and wife should contribute to the family income.
-A strong majority of all working mothers (62%) say they would prefer to work part time. Only 37% of working moms would prefer to work full time.
So ‘society’ wants mom to contribute to the income, but only work on a part-time basis – part time jobs which 62% of moms want but only 26% actually have. It’s not adding up. Those 7 people aren’t putting their money where their mouth is.
Mary Beth recently posted..Yes it’s me dancing to Lady Gaga.
Twitter: bloombing
It’s a good thing I don’t care what any percentage of random Americans think of my choices, when it comes right down to it.
Though sometimes I would like to ask all the critics out there if it would be better for me to quit my job, so I could stay home with my kids… and raise them in an environment of deprivation. I’m not talking about dance class here, either. More like a livable temperature in the New England winter. Really? That would be the better alternative??
Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..October 15 Is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day
Twitter: mommeetmom
i think those 72% who agreed with the statement “too many children are being raised in day care centers these days” need to pay me my current salary so i neither lose income nor lose time with my kid. i say to them, put up or shut up!
Terri from Finding Drishti recently posted..Effects of Meditation on Students [Infographic]