In this ever-advancing technological world we live in, it seems that people are always trying to re-invent the wheel or act like they have discovered the best way to do something—like no one else has ever thought of it before. Motherhood is no exception. People are constantly trying to prove why avoiding certain foods or products is the healthiest way to raise a child. We talk about crying it out, co-sleeping, attachment parenting, and the like. My stance is always this: if it works for you, more power to you.
So, what works for me? Rocking my almost 17-month-old to sleep. Go ahead, judge.
I know it’s a pretty common notion that if a mother rocks her child or nurses her child to sleep for “too long,” then he will obviously be too attached and unable to soothe himself. Well, I’m gonna go Myth Busters on that theory right now.
Why do I rock my toddler to sleep every night when it kills my neck to hold his 24-lb body in a small rocking chair? For me. And only for me.
My son has been able to soothe himself for a very long time. He’s always been a good nighttime sleeper (naps, however, are not his favorite) and I can gently put him into his crib with his little musical glow worm or puppy at night, walk out of the room, hear the music and his sweet babbles for a while, then bask in the silence. He’s a good boy and doesn’t need my rocking. He’s not being done a disservice because I rock him. Instead, he’s doing Mommy good.
Basically, I miss the hell out of him during the week. Like KeAnne so eloquently put it when she discussed her son’s bedtime rituals, we as working mothers often need some extra time at night to feel less guilty about the time we are away during the day. We need that time to bond. We need that time so that some day, our sons will remember that their evenings were calm and loving, full of board books, lullabies and snuggles. And then, they’ll remember sleeping completely soundly. And dreaming of their mommies, of course.
It sounds totally cheesy, but my feeling is that I will snuggle with my son, kiss his face, rock him to sleep, sing him lullabies for as long as he’ll let me. Because I know that pretty soon, he’ll be a teenager, he’ll be taller than I am, and I’ll be looking up into his big brown eyes wishing I could have one more night holding him in his nursery, rocking in the chair, singing Whitney Houston songs, listening to the white noise machine, pointing at the stars projected on the ceiling, and reading Dr. Seuss ABC. Because really, what’s better?
I feel each of these sentiments. Bedtime is precious, and my son has his entire life (well, teens and adulthood) to get himself to sleep without wanting a mommy snuggle. And, there’s something sad about the fact that a mother rocking her son to sleep needs to be a “confession.” I feel every one-on-one moment is building a foundation for my son that no amount of self-soothing can match.
Kristin recently posted..Daddy Time and Good Screaming
Twitter: kblank2
Thanks for the support, Kristin! I am in no way ashamed that I get my snuggles with my son <3
Shannon recently posted..Mysterious, Unfair, and Sad
I used to rock my daughter to sleep at that age too… until she started pointing at the crib. I loved that cuddling time, but apparently she just wanted to go to sleep in her bed. : )
Jo recently posted..What Do You Do and Why? – Deb
Twitter: JolizieD
That’s hilarious! They know what they want. Some nights, he’s sleepy but not cuddly, and I put him in his crib to look at the stars. But most nights, he falls asleep in my arms. That’s just the way I like to end my night.
Shannon recently posted..Mysterious, Unfair, and Sad
I am with you Jo. I would give anything to rock my almost 2 year old to sleep! She is not a cuddler and hasn’t really been one since 3 months or so. At least my 4 year old boy will cuddle with me! Unfortunately he is too big to rock …
You’ll get no judgment here! I still let my son sleep with me because… snuggles. Obviously.
Law Momma recently posted..Liberating Working Moms from Mainstream Media
Your post brought tears to my eyes. I always hold bedtime for both of my kiddos (2 1/2 and 6 months) as my favorite part of the day and with my youngest, and most likely my last, I hold him and rock him even longer than I need to because I know that these days won’t last forever. He’s only six months now, but I will too plan to hold him and rock him to sleep as long as he will let me.
Amen, amen
I’m a rocker, too…and my girl is 2! I rock her at naptime on the weekends, when I’m the one that gets to put her down for nap. She doesn’t really tolerate it at bedtime anymore….
you have worded my sentiments exactly! i was worried that rocking my little one to sleep was the cause of her night waking (you know the whole, if you put them down when they’re asleep they’ll wake and wonder where you are? gem) but she sometimes self settles and still wakes.
she’s a baby she wakes and she needs her mum and dad. it can be annoying as hell, but so is finding avocado in your shoes and i’m not about to ban avo, or shoes.
maybe if we reduce the trauma that can be associated with bed that may be caused by excessive crying and no! go to sleep shouts, maybe as they get older they won’t have negative connotations? just a thought, just throwing it out there. i’ll let you know when isabel turns 5!
great article, thank you!