It’s transition time for me again. Just one more week and I’m back to work and back to the groove of routines and tight schedules and not enough time in the day. This will be my fourth time transitioning back to work after a long break since having Abby. And the older Abby gets and the more engrossed in my career I get, transitions are always a bit hard, but also, each one is so different as I’ve grown into this working teacher momma life. I now know what to expect, and know that I’ve grown so much since having her.
Around this time last year I was freaking out about my new gig where I would have to get up earlier, drive further, and take on teaching things I never had before. It’s in my nature to stress. Or shall I say it was as this past year has taught me that I needed to stop consuming all the things, figuratively and literally, and know that I can handle whatever is thrown at me, feeling completely fulfilled with my work. This summer I’ve really focused on channeling my emotions into being a better communicator as well as being committed to running and working out. And it’s helped a ton.
But as I sit here typing this, I still get emotional. Though I know I’m not meant to be a SAHM, transitions are always tough. Just when you get into the swing of a different way of life, something else comes along to change it all up. Mostly, though, there are so many variables going through my head as I begin the next school year, which are more about logistical matters and chartering new hopeful territories. I’m grateful for my time home with Abby this summer. So much so. And yet I have a lot of angst. Not about leaving her as I’ve done it before and know we will both be fine, but it’s that hopeful territories that’s got my mind racing.
First of all, we still don’t have a preschool/daycare nailed down for Abby. And I’m just thankful we are not dealing with crazy long waiting list situations so that our decision making troubles will not leave us without care. It’s a complicated situation really, trying to find the right place that complies with our work schedules. There are gobs of amazing preschools around here, however most of them cater to the SAHM schedule so we are limited with the types of places that offer full time care along with quality preschool.
And then there is the fact that I’m still hoping to find a job closer to home, which could change a choice in our preschool/daycare options.
I’ve applied for four jobs in the district I live in, one of which has already been filled, and I’m still waiting on three. It’s really tough to get a job in the district I live in because they have to look at internal transfer requests before considering outside applicants. This is my third year trying to get a job closer to home. What’s happened in the past is that at the end of the summer the jobs still available are the .6 jobs, which amounts to half time work as those individuals got first dibs on the full time gigs. But as I sit here, I’m still in the running for a couple full time jobs still open. I even applied for a .8 position, which would be a big pay cut for me, but the thought of having the 1.5-2 hours I spend in the car every day be taken down to 20-40 minutes a day, dependent on what school I might get hired for, would me the world to my family. Especially to be home to help out in the morning with my momma’s girl, and to get a little Abby fix before I start my day.
So I sit here, wondering if I should begin prepping for a current job, which I’m hoping to not have to go back to, though I’m completely guilt ridden that I might leave them high and dry just days before the school year starts. It’s just so complicated right now and my head is spinning. I know I have to put my family first and it would be such a sigh of relief to work closer to home, especially as I know transitions back to school can be rough on my girl too.
So now, I just focus on appreciating the time I have with Abby, while I’m equally grateful for an understanding husband who is taking some vacation time during my first week back to work to help make all of what this new school year may bring for us as we all ease into what may be. Oh, and I’ll probably be working out a lot too, keeping my body and soul in check!