{Yes, I can relate every post to a 90s song. Try me.}
Stop focusing on the fact that she's holding singles. Dirty mind.
Summer is coming, and since I have chosen not to work during the summer, my brain is spinning with ideas on how, when and where to entertain spend time with my son. Those thoughts spin into other thoughts, about future birthday parties, family vacations, extracurricular activities. But. It’s all about the Benjamins.
I decided I’d love to take my son to Disney’s Magic Kingdom for his second birthday and make a whole family trip out of it. Stay in a fancy hotel. Eat at every top-rated restaurant. Have breakfast with Mickey and Minnie Mouse. The works. But he won’t remember it, unless I show him pictures on a regular basis until he’s convinced he does remember it. So maybe I’ll wait. Or maybe I won’t because I’m impatient, and then I’ll be thousands of dollars lighter and have a son asking to see Mickey Mouse a couple years later. And who knows? By then, you might have to give them your right leg or your firstborn to get in.
I’d love to sign my son up for Gymboree classes over the summer. But dude, the price is the same for a full family membership at a gym or rec center where there’s a childcare/fun center/pool, and we can’t even swing that…
I want my son to feel free to join karate, to ask for golf lessons, to play little league baseball, to take up an instrument.
We’ve started a meager savings account that we hope will eventually pay for a car and some of what will be a very expensive college education.
And there it is. The cycle: Work to live and live to work. And round and round we go.
Why is everything so damn expensive? When I was engaged and preparing to step into “adult life,” I never realized life would be so expensive. And life with kids? Oh, so much more expensive.
My husband and I are lowly (sometimes appreciated) teachers in the state of Florida, where people believe that you deserve more money for banging empty pickle buckets with drum sticks on the side of the road after a Rays game than you do for educating America’s youth. Because let’s face it, there’s nothing entertaining about reading, writing, and ‘rithmetic. *facepalm*
So, we’re not rolling in the dough.
Obviously, I’m not a materialistic person, or I wouldn’t still be living in my “starter” house making a first-year teacher’s salary (oh and paying more for benefits and enjoying furlough days—woohoo!) after four years of teaching. I didn’t choose education for the money. I didn’t marry my husband for money. I’d rather have all the mushy stuff, enjoy what I do, blah blah blah and other things that politicians laugh at. But, you have to be able to survive. And even though we’re surviving, I’d really like my little family of 3+dog to thrive, rather than survive.
I have many friends who are contemplating career changes because they simply do not make enough as teachers (or as whatever they are) to accommodate their lifestyles and to keep up with the Joneses as far as their kids are concerned.
Do you ever feel pressured to give your kids ipads, cell phones, the latest video game system? Do you ever feel guilty because you work certain days/nights and can’t take the time to bring the little princess to dance lessons? Or even that you can take the time but don’t have the money? How do you deal?
We’ve made some plans. My husband is finishing his Master’s degree, which will hopefully put him on the right career path and eventually lead to a raise in pay. We try to be frugal and make the right decisions as far as big purchases and, like Katherine, we have no debt besides our house. It all sounds great when I say it like that, but is it selfish to want more? Not really for me, but for my kid?
I’m actually contemplating a career change. Not an abrupt one. But I’ve decided to go back to school for my Master’s degree and see where it leads. I’d like to say I’m going to go strictly because I want to further my education and that I’m going to study something I love because I believe in the whole “Do what you love” mantra. But really, I’m starting to question my decision-making process. Should I be more practical and study something that will get me a guaranteed position with higher pay? Is anything guaranteed?
What’s your stance on loving what you do? Do you love what you do and make a decent living? Or do you feel like you have to sacrifice one for the other?
Photo credit: www.gotoams.com (post), www.moneyexchange.com (homepage)
I HEAR this! With three, it’s hard to find the time, but even joint family outings can get so expensive! My husband & I were just having this conversation the other day, like how are we both working & still can’t take that vacation or finish the back deck?!
We chalked it up to a consumer culture. We don’t really need it…but boy oh boy do we want it!
Great post:)
Twitter: mrshiggison
Thanks! Part of the reason I’m not sure I’ll have more kids is because I can’t fathom how much it costs to feed and clothe 3… How would I ever go to Disney World? lol! But yes, we definitely live in a consumer culture. I’m not really a shopper and I don’t need the “latest” whatever, but I would love to not be penny-pinching and looking for discounts every time I want to spend a weekend in Orlando with my family.
Shannon recently posted..Good Reads 2012 (Months 1-5)
I too am a teacher and my husband owns his own small business. I LOVE my job but also sometimes think about changing jobs so that I can give my kids more…. but then I think more at what cost. Right now I have weekends, holidays, and 8 weeks in the summer off to spend TIME with my kids. What other job would give me that benefit. So I have a constant struggle between what is better spending TIME with my kids or spending MONEY to make their lives full of bigger and better experiences.
I went back to school, got a masters and then a specialist degree. The pay raises that came with those degrees have been wiped out by furlough days and increases in insurance. Its a good thing I got the degrees or I would be making a lot less money than I made 4 years ago.
Donna recently posted..Are you a selfish parent?
I agree wholeheartedly, Donna. It would be very hard to reconcile taking a more demanding job for more pay if it took me away from my son for longer hours. My husband will make that sacrifice as he moves on, but I really don’t want both of us to have to do so.
Many of the teachers I know who have furthered their education are not being compensated for it because of frozen salaries. It’s definitely a tough time!
Shannon recently posted..Good Reads 2012 (Months 1-5)
My husband and I have been talking about this a lot lately since we are expecting kiddo #2. My biggest worry: affording two daycare bills! EEK. I already have inexpensive daycare, but to double it… Between the mortgage, student loans, and daycare, we send a lot of Benjamins out the door.
I know we’ll never be able to afford to fund their entire college education, but we still set aside money to help. We also have a “summer fund” as we call it, for the now. We put any extra money (leftover grocery budget, expense check, etc) or gift cards into the fund and withdraw from that for the “bigger” trips. Summer tends to be more expensive with trips to the water park or other fun things, so we try to save for it year round. It is not a lot, but it helps us do more things without busting our June-July-August budget.
P.S. I’m not a teacher, but sometimes I think about taking the salary cut in order to have those 8 weeks and holidays with E.
I really like the idea of setting aside a “summer fund” with the extras. Then it wouldn’t seem like you were spending a lot because you had slowly saved for it!
As far as teaching is concerned, unless it’s something a person would absolutely love and feel called to do, it is not something I would recommend. Right now, education is so low on the priority list in our country, and in my state in particular, things are all kinds of flubbed up. I have a co-worker who attained her Master’s degree last year, and still needs to take three courses over the summer (and pay for them out of her own pocket) to make sure she is “certified and highly qualified” in the area she teaches. My co-department head actually works as a waitress all summer, and the teacher across the hall from me works as a waitress year-long in the evenings and on the weekends. My husband and I have made it work so I can have the summers MOSTLY off, but sometimes, 9-5 doing something I love forward to/feel appreciated doing sounds ideal.
Shannon recently posted..Good Reads 2012 (Months 1-5)
Yes! Sometimes I feel like I have the worst of both working full time and staying home – not enough time with my son and not enough money for any “nice” things. We are floating, but just barely. No cable, no eating out, no home improvement, no travel, no fun classes for the kid, I haven’t had new clothes/shoes for over a year, etc. All of those (and more) are extra so get cut. I often wonder what is the point? But I hold out hope things will get better or easier so we just keep truckin’ along.
Barbra recently posted..18 Month Update
Twitter: barbrabaker
I have a friend in a very similar situation who has been surviving with one car (she stays home and her husband takes the car to work–I can’t imagine not being able to leave the house!) and just recently cancelled cable. At the end of the day, I know how much more blessed we are than some people. It’s just disheartening sometimes to work so hard for so little.
Shannon recently posted..Good Reads 2012 (Months 1-5)
My husband and I make decent salaries and yet, we always feel like our heads are just above water. We don’t spend a lot on extras – it’s the everyday needs like daycare that get us. It’s frustrating to make so much more than we did 10 years ago and still see so little in the bank account. If someone has a secret to turn this around I would love to know! Every article I find on cutting out the essentials list items that we don’t ever buy. So much for that.
I would love to cut my hours to spend more time with my family, but that’s not going to happen. And as far as what to get your degree in? I work as an academic advisor in higher education and have an MS myself. If you don’t love what you are studying it will be so much harder to succeed. I see students who get into a degree because that’s where the jobs or the money is, but they aren’t successful unless they have a genuine interest in that field. Having said that, I have my degree in an area I thought I was meant for, but in the end I realized I neglected to pay attention to other things I loved. So make sure to do your research. My degree is in the social services area where income isn’t that great. Do I sometimes have regrets about this? Sure, but I wouldn’t want to pick a field just based on money potential.
Jo recently posted..Book Review: In Search of Lucy
Twitter: JolizieD
Thanks for your response, Jo. I really appreciate your candor because I know you’re right. I don’t want to spend my time and money on a degree and attempt to obtain a job I’m not truly invested/interested in. I am in the process of doing research–no rushing things.
Shannon recently posted..Good Reads 2012 (Months 1-5)
I love this post, though I am seeing the matter from the other side, sort of. I taught h.s. for a year and worked 3 jobs that summer so I could afford the move to grad school across the country. Then I taught college. And then I quit, and tripled my salary in 3 years. yes, tripled. I live in a more expensive area now (san diego) so there’s less leftover $ than you’d think, but I love this town. And, after many years devoted to a career in education (8) I love my sort-of 9-5. Just b/c you find a job for financial reasons doesn’t mean you won’t like it. It’s not the same, and I tutor sometimes to get a little of that interaction back, but though I was/am passionate about teaching I wouldn’t go back for anything at this point. I actually have more flexibility now than then, and do get to do stuff like Disneyland (took my 2 yr old last week b/c family was in town- she’s too young and I’d recommend waiting till 3). That said, it’s still hard b/c we want to give our daughter every opportunity, and no, I can’t save $5 a day by not buying that cup of coffee, b/c I make my own (and lunches, too). @Jo, I hate those articles. I think we’re going to start a summer fund, too. What a great idea.
cayley rice recently posted..Week of March 11: Guest Post!!!
Great post! Both my parents were teachers and while I was aware that we didn’t have that much money, we had enough for the important stuff. What I really remember and appreciate is all the time we spent together as a family. My parents advised my brother and I to go into something else for all the reasons you’ve mentioned above, but I often think about how my daughters’ (19 mo and 2nd due in July) childhood is going to be a lot different from mine. The time we have together always seems rushed since there’s so little of it. Like other commenters have mentioned, I often think of making a change to teaching or some kind of parttime work because having time seems nicer than having money. Maybe this is just a grass is greener kind of thing though.
Just know that if you choose to continue as a teacher, your son will probably end up feeling as I do, that all that time with my mom to play in the backyard, go swimming at the pool, or go on fun daytrips, was worth not having as much money.
Thank you so much for that, Mandy. I sincerely appreciate hearing that <3
Shannon recently posted..Good Reads 2012 (Months 1-5)
Ugh. What a crappy thing to have to think about! I’m fortunate in the fact that I really do love what I do and I feel like I make a fair amount of money for it. But, on the other hand, I’m married to a teacher, so I know EXACTLY where you’re coming from. The man HAS a master’s degree (required to teach in OR) and is 9 years into the teaching gig and doesn’t get paid nearly what he deserves. While we have no debt other than our mortgage, that mortgage is an outrageous one, with little to no hope of getting to refi (the beauty of country living. ha) so we have to pinch and save all the time. We won’t do big vacations. Our last vacation was our honeymoon…almost 7 years ago. I certainly don’t think you’re selfish for wanting more for your son…isn’t that what ALL parents want for their kids?
And for the record? I really don’t know if there’d be enough money in the WORLD to get me to go back to school for my master’s degree. Ugh. I hate school and I feel like there’s so little time already, that’d be the LAST thing I’d want to do. So…KUDOS to you!
And one more thing…just re-read the entire comment…not sure any one it actually went anywhere with any kind of point, but whatever.
Katherine recently posted..Here We Go Again: May Update, Part Deux
Twitter: lilmissrysmama
I totally understand. Our three are so close in age that when I contemplate signing one up for something, I think that I need to sign up all three. I’d considered a gymnastics class (rural Midwest) and for one, one hour class per week for my three it would be nearly $120 a week! For ONE HOUR! We did sign Bo up for t-ball — and at $70 for the season, I thought that was worth it – probably averages out to a few dollars an hour — but the logistics (as my girls aren’t ones to sit still and watch a game) have been interesting.
One idea/suggestion — my best friend currently teaches full-time in a traditional high school and after receiving her MA started teaching online as well. Teaching online can be a great supplement and if you’re only working for one school online, could easily fit into your life for an extra 10-20K per year. It’s been a great career move for her and eventually, I’d like to work a traditional job again and continue to teach online for the extra income.
What is your teaching degree in? Some schools you don’t need a Masters… If you’re interested, send me an email.
Jamie recently posted..Zoo
After reading the comments — I wanted to add – we also only have our mortgage as debt and recently refinanced at a lower rate. I also use a budget — mint.com app on my iPhone – that has helped with our spending a great deal.
As far as Disney World, we are planning to go in September. I’m spending more than we did for our honeymoon and going then because the girls are free as they don’t turn three until the end of the month. I stalked for deals and ended up with free dining which cut the cost significantly. It’s still going to be hella expensive though. I’ve tried to set aside money each month to form a vacation budget but I still feel guilty and like that money could be better used on other things. Hopefully the trip itself and the memories will be worth it.
Jamie recently posted..Zoo
I bet your vacation will be amazing, and more than worth it! Just don’t get sucked into all the gift shops- the guest services booth/stand at Disneyland face out free ‘First time at Disneyland’ pins; so much cheaper than a zillion stuffed characters and mickey mouse sweatshirts.
cayley rice recently posted..Week of March 11: Guest Post!!!