Time for some deep thoughts by Brandy. Hold onto your hats…you may lose them. This is not my typical style.
I was sitting here thinking about being a a working mom. How being a SAHM sounds so hard to me and so many of them think the same of me. For one. I am a product of a 2 working parent household. This is the only ‘moming’ I know. Staying home just seems so abstract to me. I went to daycare and only know of a mom working all day and coming home to do another. To some SAHMs, it must seem like I do something impossible too. It is just how we are wired. Not the grass is always greener but more like the grass is strange and blue over there.
I tried to get outside of my head today to think about what it would be like to be at home with Landon. What would we do? And then, I was halted in my tracks. I don’t know how to game plan that concept. Just plain clueless. When I am home for a random day or weekends, I jam them full of stuff. We go to the park, museum, Target, farmer’s market, and playdates. I clean at night after bed during the week so I get full time with him on weekends. But if I stayed home, could I keep that going? Seems pretty exhausting to do every day, but who knows. I’m not saying I would get bored but I would get fidgety. I see my one-on-one time with Landon as time to DO ALL THE THINGS. Trying to think of things to do with him on a consistent daily basis makes me get anxiety just now. That can’t be a good sign.
So after my little thought exercise, I realized I can’t stay at home. Just no way. Rain showers of confetti and lattes for the SAHMs out there. I am VERY confident in my working mom decision, but I do wish we could do more things together. Story time at the library. Go to see the dinosaurs without a giant Saturday crowd. Have a picnic with our friends without conflicting with birthday parties. Stay in our jammies and play trains all day.
So how do you do this? I think I need a staycation. More over, I think it should be part of my vacation day setup. Working moms and dads get an extra week a year. A week not associated with a holiday where we can do whatever. No real errands. No chores. No projects. Just time. Wanna go to the zoo tomorrow? Sure! Wanna stay home and have a picnic in the backyard with the dog? Why the hell not? Pure kid time. Help us balance back out the 3 hour evenings of kid time to the 8 hours of work. Seems reasonable right? Lets make that happen.
O wait. I work in the US. Never happening. ::sad trombone::
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I totally agree with this. Although I couldn’t be a SAHM, I am blessed to only work 4 days a week and my husband also has every other Friday off. This means that our family gets a staycation every two weeks. I feel very blessed and wish this situation was more the norm.
Twitter: jessieyeager
LUCKY!
Twitter: mannlymama
I couldn’t be a SAHM either. I tried it for a few months and all those things that made you anxious – we did that. Every day. It was exhausting. It was like a poorly fitting dress. It just didn’t fit. I’m lucky to get 2 personal holidays a year and I relish mornings when we go to well-child visits, I milk it. Or stay home so the repair guy can come… the kids stay home too. And we make the most of this non-vacay time together!
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Twitter: bloombing
2 personal holidays!?!? OMG. Confetti and lattes for you! I get at least 15 with rollover from the previous year. AHHHHHH
Twitter: mannlymama
LOL I too have the fears about what I’d do all day. No way I could keep up the pace but I DO need her to nap so I don’t lose my ever loving mind so I try to run her RAGGED! I also don’t know how you manage to fill the time. I can only go to the aquarium and pool so many times a week before that loses it’s luster.
Brandee recently posted..Big Girl Bed Conundrums
Twitter: Babe_Chilla
yup. Fortunately we have a lot of things to do in this city and a TON of parks. We could go to a new one every weekend for months.
Twitter: mannlymama
For the record, I’m meant to be a working mom. Also, as I sit here waiting for you to throw things at me…I get built in Staycations as a teacher. They are glorious. But remember that I ALWAYS take work home with me. ALWAYS. We need our breaks as teachers…and I’m usually working on my breaks, so there’s that. So how much confetti and lattes do I get
Twitter: wa_tracy
But see i like my stay cation paid
. The summer months would be rough on me as a teacher. Hell my mom was one and I still went to daycare 
Twitter: mannlymama
Oh hon…I still get paid
They break up our salary over 12 months. And when Abby is older…you bet your butt she’s going to camp!
Twitter: wa_tracy
I paid for daycare during the summer so you could go on the fun outings like swimming, skating, movies, etc. with all your buddies. Was one of the ways I made sure the “only child” had plenty of entertainment and socialization.
I loved this.
I tried to be a mostly-SAHM for 4.5yrs…and didn’t figure out til well after the fact that it just didn’t suit me.
However…there are weeks where I think to myself: man, wouldn’t that be so nice? And it would, for about a week and then I’d be itching again. I just can’t keep up the kind of pace my kids require. I used to be ashamed of that, now I know it’s just a personal limit.
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Twitter: mrshiggison
I can’t honestly say that I’m meant to be a working mom, but it is a choice that I make to help provide us with the kind of life we want. But I do make the best of it and I do take a personal day every now and then and pretend I stay home and do all the things I think I’d do if I stayed home. Then the next day while he’s having a blast with his daycare buddies I can grab lunch with a girlfriend that doesn’t involve chicken nuggets and a slide. I know I’m lucky to take personal days like that and that not every working mom gets them so I try to make the most of them!
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Twitter: SurfMommaBlog
Oh we take random days…but once again, I just jam them with things. Last one we went to the zoo. I just wonder longer term if I could sustain things to do.
Twitter: mannlymama
Having done both, I like being a working mom much better. It’s not that I don’t like time with my kids, I do. In fact I relish the time we do get to spend together. I just think this arrangement provides some benefits I wouldn’t see otherwise. I am more confident in myself and therefore can pass that confidence on to my kids. My kids are getting to hang out with other kids and are learning a lot more than I could teach them. My youngest is not a picky eater and my oldest is. I think this is because my youngest started daycare just before he turned 3 and has had no choice but to eat a wider variety of foods.
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Twitter: dishwaterdreams
Gotta love daycare. And I didn’t really throw out this word vomit to convey “guilt” over being a working mom…just an observation about the semantics of actually being a SAHM. Scary dude.
Twitter: mannlymama
Envy! P. eats all sorts of foods at daycare, but won’t eat those same foods at home. Ever.
Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..P. and Her First Mamaless Outing
Twitter: mommeetmom
WIth my career I get lots of stay-cation time. I am a teacher and enjoy a full week off in the following months: Sept, Nov, Dec (2 weeks), Feb and April. Then I have all of June and 3 weeks of July off along with some random federal holidays and 4-8 furlough days each year. My family LOVES this schedule and we enjoy doing things together. However, by the middle of these weeks off my daughter is asking to go back to school to see her friends. She enjoys and thrives in the structure of her day care.
One reason I chose teaching as a profession was the “family friendly” schedule and being able to be off with my kids. I don’t think I could be a full time stay at home mom– Its just not my personality.
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Well I get about 4 weeks of personal vacation and then a week at xmas for all employees. we get breaks…but i feel like just 1 more would be good to make up the difference. Maybe I am just greedy
Twitter: mannlymama
I am a SAHM to five. Many ask me how I do it but I ask myself the same question of Moms who work. I worked part time after my first two but by the time the third came along we chose to make it a full time duty at home. My kids were bounced from one relative to another for babysitting and were never on a proper schedule. I seen a big difference in the kids after I started staying home. There have been many times when I thought about going back to work but the thought of making it all work sends my anxiety through the roof. My hats off to you working Moms:)
I could be a SAHM – actually, I’ve done it and loved it and found working SO much harder on so many levels – if the money was there, but it’s not so I’m not, end of story. And I freelance on top of day-to-day work so if I have a day off, guess what I’m doing! Today I actually had a little sad fest, because I was working at home with my daughter, and we got a beach invite. I couldn’t go, but I sent her off with my friend and her daughter and they had a lovely time. Without me! *sniff*
Christa the BabbyMama recently posted..P. and Her First Mamaless Outing
Twitter: mommeetmom
I think that after 3 months I can officially say that I ADORE staying home (yes, I worked at home but I was home with Harry all day).
But I also LOVE being a working momma.
I worried that I wouldn’t know what to do with him but the truth is that it was FAR easier to plan our days than I imagined. It’s a mixture of zero structure & him playing independently while I work & then the two of us doing a fun activity, like heading to the park or a friend’s house.
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Part of it is you were/are home with a working mom mindset. You have lived the other side and see the balance(hehe). You know you NEED that. You also are still working…so you HAVE to have that really. Maybe your deal is what I need SOMETIMES. Working from home a few days a week with him. Hell it would save an ass ton of money on daycare
Twitter: mannlymama
I totally get where you are coming from, I worked my whole life and recently left a very successful career/job to be a SAHM and yes I thought I was going crazy few times because when you are used to working it is hard to be home and “fill” the days and do housework and everthing all day long but the truth is you grow into it. I loved working and plan to go back to work when my guy is in school, butt its a choice I made to not have any regrets and it’s almost a challenge now to create meaningful days with a todller. Bein g a SAHM is the hardest job I’ve done but you’d be surpried how the day fills up and how you are “rebuilt”. We all have our preferences but i think deep down all SAHMs could be Working Moms and vice versa when push came to shove, because we are all strong and do what’s right for our families and kids…